How hard can it be?
To be different for a while.
How hard can it be?
To leave a sense of surprise.
How hard can it be?
To make someone feel extra special even for a day.
How hard can it be?
To have your own special way.
How hard can it be?
To tell her what she needed to hear.
How hard can it be?
To know without asking.
How hard can it be?
To be sensitive and open-minded.
How hard can it be?
To understand what is hidden.
How can you be happy when someone is in pain? I need to know how to not notice it and leave my worries behind. Being judged is normal, but if you didn't do anything wrong...'don't hide at all'.
There are certain things that you cannot change even if you wanted to take control of it and erase it from your life. The past is something to reflect on in our present day and in our future. Even if you wanted to go back and change things, that's not gonna happen. Life is full of 'what ifs' and 'should haves'.. but your past mistakes stay as it is and you have to face the consequences of your actions, reflect from it and change for the better.
I know it sounds crazy but 'forever' might just work. 'Once Upon A Time' and 'Happily Ever After' might take a shot not only in a classic fairytale but also in a person's life. When you're in love, there are no boundaries. But sometimes insecurities take over. People judge you for who you aren't. They get into you and make you feel like you're in a black hole, gasping for air. Don't hide when people misunderstand. There's nothing wrong in making your stand, but never be insensitive. The past might also come back and get you; take you down and make sure you never get up again. If you fall, stand up and talk to God..'Coz He always makes people better.
'Being afraid is normal'. Well, it's easy to say though.When you are insecure, you're afraid...Afraid to lose something you can't live without. The past is my biggest insecurity. I can never be as big as it is. I can never be as perfect and realistically possible. Confusing? Yes. But why is it so hard to be with someone you love? The whole world is against it and the past keeps coming back, making me think that I ruined 'everything'. I feel heavy when that thought comes back to me. 'Coz maybe, just maybe, it was really my fault.
The whole universe did something bad. They prepared an evil plan for me. It was so perfect that even I don't get to choose what I want for myself. Who am I to get the best options.... who am I?
The timer started. It was up to me to do what I want: Laugh, have fun, love, be selfish, childish & dance to the groove of life. But I did hurt people along the way... and I, myself, was hurt too. The feeling of being 'judged' and 'looked down' upon and believing in what others say about myself that I'm definitely not is one of the most hurtful things that happened to me. I cried.. a lot. I can't stop the tears from falling form my eyes. Not wanting to let go does not tell you that you are allowed not to. There are so many things to consider, and when you think about it, what you want is considered as 'selfishness' in all aspects. I continue to hide from the dark shadows that are trying to catch me, slowly swallowing the whole of me. I can't escape, there's no way out. Because whatever I do, they will always get that chance where I can't runaway anymore. That's how it is. Life is cruel and that's the reality.
It's all in my chest now. Like the air in a balloon, my feelings are so compressed and it feels like it's gonna burst out any time soon. I feel like I'm the worst person in the world... selfish and insensitive.
When true love comes in, nothing else matters.. and that's how I truly feel. I cry (a lot) and feel bad about things but nothing else matters when he's with me. He makes me feel like I'm important and I really deserve to smile everyday. Whenever he feels bad, I feel bad. Whenever he's sad, I am sad.. Feelings that are so intertwined.
But why do I feel like I crashed a movie? A movie that I wasn't supposed to be a cast of. Maybe I was definitely uninvited.
Hidden in the shadows, struck by fear.
No one really understands. I never intended to hurt anyone, but sometimes it can't be helped. Once in a while, I always hurt somebody but I swear i never meant it. What I truly feel and what goes on inside my head is hidden in the deepest part of me. It struck me like lightning and I'm still electrocuted. :(
Click.
I played the video and I heard your voice again. I wasn't excited...but I was bothered. I remembered the time when I told you your voice is nice. Well, it really is. You changed a lot now and I don't know if that's a good thing or not.
Can you say my name one more time? I don't know why I wanted to hear it again.. even if it's the last time. The way you say my name, every syllable of it, is different from the others. I missed that sweet voice you use all the time to call my name. And I fall for it every time.
Why can't I just totally forget the way you made me feel? It's been years. It feels like you're not real anymore. All those things that happened are locked inside my head. Can't you just leave forever and never appear in any way? Because every time I see you, I am forced to remember.
It was never the same.
It was hard for me to look at somebody the same way I looked at him. I've been looking for that same feeling, the same chills that i felt before, but it's not there anymore. The feeling of nervousness when he's around or that moment when your heart stops when he's looking was never there in anyone else's presence. He owns those moments and I just can't do something about it.
I'm a cactus covered in thorns, or rather a rose full of spikes. The real me is hiding behind those sharp thorns, making sure that no one could hurt me again. Thorns which are meant to protect me pushed some people away. Thorns that are not supposed to make me defenseless made me vulnerable to feelings.. feelings that got hurt because of trying to break the spikes that covers my skin.
I'm not sure what to think of. My head is filled with uncertainty. You can make me laugh, you can touch my heart. But I am never sure if I'm ready to give it for real.
FUZZYDANICA
About
I believe that I can be truly great.
I believe that good things come to those who wait patiently.
I believe that power comes within ourselves.
I believe that music is inspiration and inspiration helps us reach the impossible.