Is this the punishment for all the wrong things I've done? I feel empty and distant. Sorry for hurting you. Sorry for not caring. 

I never thought I have already hurt a few people in my life. Some of them became my close friends, but they all disappeared after the rejections. I remembered all these when I saw the profile of some friend back in high school. Yes, we were 'kinda' close. Well in non-verbal aspects probably. I just remembered that he used to like me back then. He looks different before. But now I see he has changed. He looks happier..and better. Well, everyone do actually... after I disappeared from their lives.

Well if you really think about it, they all have better lives after leaving the thoughts of me behind. A few of them found new girls.. Oh wait, all of them. And I was left with no one, not even a close 'guy' friend to confide with. Why can't they understand that what I needed most is a friend... and not what they are looking for. So they all left me at some point in time with a broken heart.. And now here I am, guilty of my acts.

Can you blame me now if I don't trust them? I used to be so naive, so kind and understanding but I don't think I am anymore. I'm not a retail object that you can just save for later or choose from if you want to buy or not. I'm not a movie or a kind of food that you would like to compare with others. I'm a girl and what I need is sincerity, not false intentions. What's the point of understanding if they don't approach you physically?  What's the point of liking or loving when you can't tell what's real from what's not anymore?